How to shoot yourself in the foot – metaphorically, as a gun advocate.

soni

As a gun owner and as a human being I’m quite irked at the newest round of locations adopting policies preventing legal carry of firearms. However, I’m not pissed at the business owners or the corporate offices. I’m pissed at the Gun Owners that cause it.

Here’s Your Sign

Maybe some of my “brethren” (and I use that word lightly) that support the right to bear arms are just to stupid to realize it, so I guess it needs to be explained clearly and simply.

The QUICKEST way to have guns banned somewhere, the absolute most fool-proof method of absolutely guaranteeing you’ll get all guns banned from somewhere… is to have a f*&##*$g GUN RALLY THERE! How stupid can you people be?

What you THINK will happen

Hey guys, let’s show our support of Sonic restaurant AND our support for gun rights by going up to a Sonic drive-in restaurant and standing around all day with guns, hurting nobody, never causing any problems, and just eating food. That’s a great idea right? The people at Sonic will see that us responsible gun owners didn’t do nuthin’ wrong and they’ll support us!

I’m assuming at that point that you all climb into your rust-bucket 84 Ford F-150 pickups with your inbred cousins and proceed to have a hoot’n’anny at the local drive thru for a couple hours.

What ACTUALLY happens

As soon as you dipshidiots© show up flashing all the nice hardware, some mom of a couple kids gets scared and calls the cops to come see what’s going on. She just wanted a Lemon-Cherry Lime-Aid for her kids, not to attend a freakin’ NRA convention and she shows up and sees you idiots standing around in the sun flashing everything from long rifles to AR-15s. The cops get the call and respond with a couple cars only to learn that nobody’s really breaking the law, but by then at least one local reporter monitoring the police band has gotten wind of it and some freshman cheerleader has just tweeted you idiots to cyberspace and it’s too late for a gun owner with any sense to stop you.

Three days and a hundred-thousand phone calls later you’ve left a corporation that had NO desire whatsoever to get in the middle of this in quite a pickle. Their investors are threatening to leave, plummeting their stock price. Their lawyers are costing them an arm and a leg to have conferences with the big wigs about how to handle it, and eventually they do what ANYONE would do: They come to the conclusion that NO ONE could possibly sue them if they DON’T allow guns on their property but that ANYONE and EVERYONE will now sue them if given any provocation about gun fears because YOUR DUMB ASS drug them into the spotlight and made them take a stand. Now they HAVE to stand on the wrong side of the gun argument because it’s simply too risky financially NOT to.

Thanks you idiots.

From now on, if you want to show your support for gun rights here’s an idea or three:

  • DO get some signs and banners made up.
  • DO pick a nice spot out by a main road or highway,maybe an unused field, or even an empty mall parking lot that’s not being used by ANYBODY that day.
  • DO pick a municipal location where it’s allowed.
  • DO stand around, drink coke, eat hot dogs, and intelligently tell anyone that asks that you’re out today supporting the 2nd amendment by showing that guns don’t do a danged thing wrong when in responsible hands (which means holsters.)
  • DO NOT bring your AR-15.
  • DO NOT walk around CARRYING a gun in your hands. Put it in a holster, or sling it like your daddy taught you when he took you hunting.
  • DO NOT STAGE ANOTHER DAMNED RALLY AT A BUSINESS YOU MIGHT ONE DAY WANT TO REVISIT YOU FREAKIN’ IDIOTS!
  • AND MOST IMPORTANTLY – ABSOLUTELY DO NOT STAGE YOUR RALLY AT A KRISPY KREME OR I SWEAR TO GOD I’LL PERSONALLY BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH YOUR OWN ARMS AND LEGS! I HAPPEN TO LOVE MY KK COFFEE AND IF ONE OF YOU INBRED BASTARDS RUINS IT FOR ME AND MAKES ME BOYCOTT IT TO PROVE A POINT I’LL KILL YOU!

Woosa…. woosa… woosa….

 


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